A Person is a Person No Matter How Gay

True story

Within the context of psychology, a phobia is a type of anxiety disorder where a person fears—often this fear is characterized as irrational—an object or situation. Many people have phobias but it’s a working fear. I fear spiders but I can surely squish one if I need to. I also fear small spaces but can buck up and ignore my phobia.

It’s believed phobias arise from an event in a person’s life. I used to hide in a closet during frightening times in my life, and then I developed a fear of small spaces. Makes sense, right? Spiders...well who doesn’t fear those creepy things? I’ve been bitten by spiders and make it a point to fear anything with fangs and poison. I allow the harmless ones to live...unless I see those fangs. Fangs hurt!

So what about an irrational fear of a gay person? Say what? That just doesn’t make a lick of sense to me. This phobia is one taught to a person—by a parent or the media, or maybe just too many negative influences around. Violence as a way to act out homophobic urges is also taught.

I was raised a fairly sheltered life. I can honestly say I didn’t know what lesbian or gay truly meant until after high school. (In my defense sex was new in my little world too. Boy, have I come a long way.) I knew gay guys in high school and knew they loved (or liked for a weekend...whatev) other guys, but I had no idea it was such a “problem” in our society, because I saw no problem if two men loved each other. I hadn’t been taught to believe their way of loving “is wrong.”

Now my parents are amazing people, but they didn’t raise me by telling me LGBT was okay either. It was pretty much ignored, but that gave me the option of forming my own unbiased opinion about gays. And that opinion based on my teenage knowledge of the world was gays are no different from me. My opinion hasn’t changed. They’re people. People like me. What is the big deal?

It hurts my head to attempt to understand homophobia. One of my best friends—one I couldn’t live without—is gay and I can’t imagine anyone hating him. To know someone out there hates him based on a silly fact that he’s attracted to the same gender is just astonishing. This type of hate is right up there with skin color or gender discrimination—it isn’t okay, it lacks any sense, and it is taught. Society as a whole needs to press harder to get their communities to see LGBT individuals or families as no different from the Christian, Jewish, Mormon, black, white, Asian, purple, or turquoise family down the street. We’re all human.

Life is hard on our LGBT community, and it’s harder for the kids.  Growing up is already difficult. It’s almost impossible to understand homophobia when you’re trying to understand yourself too. Below are some resources to help the youth through the hardest time of their lives made all the more difficult by being a minority that is attacked daily. It has gotten better over the years, and I hope in my life time I will see day where “gay” isn’t separating factor or something that people think they need to hide.

Trevor Project

The Trevor Project is determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline, digital community and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive and positive environment for everyone.

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Support line: 866-488-7386

It Gets Better Project

The It Gets Better Project was created to show young LGBT people the levels of happiness, potential, and positivity their lives will reach – if they can just get through their teen years. The It Gets Better Project wants to remind teenagers in the LGBT community that they are not alone — and it WILL get better.

http://www.itgetsbetter.org/

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I’m giving away Water Waltz in ebook format. I built a world free of homophobe in Water Waltz—in fact, every fantasy creature is both gay and straight and no one gives a fuck. Just leave a comment about homophobia—your opinion or maybe an experience—and be entered in the random drawing. Leave your email so I can contact you if you’re the winner when the hop ends.

Also visit the participating blog master list (http://hopagainsthomophobia.blogspot.com/) and join in on the other conversations about homophobia and maybe find more contests.

And maybe while you’re clicking links, click this one here http://shop.hrc.org/ and buy something to make a donation toward the fight of LGBT equal rights! One day, love will conquer hate.